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What is My Purpose

Posted on Fri, Feb 6, 2009

I hope it is no bother that I continue to write. I notice that not many people do, so I thought I would share some of my journey's stories. Whether you use them or not is okay by me. I just like to write, and pray that they will touch someone. Thank you. What is my purpose? I have been rather discouraged in the last little while. I reflect on incidents where I should have utilized more wisdom, but wrestle with the surrender in knowing that I am not above God’s plans. Patience is definitely not my ripest fruit, and waiting is like hoping against the alternative of despair. What is my purpose? What is my calling? I once again lean in favor of the truth, and find the circumstances the same. Distance and uncertainty. But through all of this, I am to press on, keep the faith, and wait. Yesterday I had to wait before I started work and decided to venture on over to a nearby Tim Horton’s. I entered the building and off to my left heard a barely audible voice saying “Excuse me, but do you have some spare change.” My peripheral vision only caught a faint outline as I didn’t even bother to stop, but just went inside. I checked my change and something prompted me to just give the man the 5 dollar bill that was in my wallet. I went to grab the bill, but the 5 dollars was actually a 20. God said, “Give it to him.” I studied that moment, because it was God. Once again, he turned the unexpected into something that would be so beneficial, and I couldn’t wait to get back outside. When I approached the man, I asked him if he needing some change. He immediately broke into an “I am trying to catch the bus and I lost my…” I just handed him the money. I didn’t wait for him to finish his story, because it wasn’t for me to know. He responded with “Are you serious? Thank you!” and I replied, “Don’t thank me, thank God, He told me to give it to you.” I left feeling very grateful to God, for using me. I watched as the man ran across the parking lot, and all I kept wondering is, did I move enough aside for God to emanate through me. I am not an “in your face” type of Christian. In fact, I am probably the quietest one sitting in the chairs, hoping for an inflowing of the Spirit that will knock all fears aside and allow such a freedom to transpire. I am reading this book right now called “Jesus Mean and Wild” by Mark Galli. In it, he quotes, “We have to die to our notions of relevance and success and let God—through a crucified Savior, through and amateurish church, through a stiff communion service—raise up his people when he will and how he will, with a power and glory we can hardly imagine.” Giving money to that man, may not have been relevant or seething with success, but that is how God used me. And I realize that God does answer my prayers, it just isn’t the way I always envision. But I will keep waiting, and learn to be grateful for the small tasks that He entrusts me with.

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